Sir I wanna buy these shoes
For my mama. please
It’s Christmas eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry sir
Daddy says there’s not much time
(I won’t go on)
If you’ve ever sat in the middle of a Christmas service or mass and had to deal with the singing of this song, I apologize.
If you’ve ever felt guilty about hating this song with all that’s within you, but feared that you were a Christmas scrooge, never apologize.
Christmas music: it’s about as opinionated as politics, with bold claims and declarations of irrationality on both sides of the spectrum. But, unlike government, policy, and reform, there’s a savior that has come to the realm of Christmas music. For unto us, a change of pace is born, unto us, a savior is given: and his name shall be called modern Christmas music, Spotify glory, the mighty carol, featuring the prince of pop.* For me, Christmas music was a spectacle that I fell in love with from early childhood. I have fun memories of decorating Christmas cookies, choosing to eat every sprinkle that “fell” off of the cookies, leaving me with a mess of a face and a sugar buzz that could fuel an elementary Christmas musical. My mom tells stories about my endless love of “Little Drummer Boy”, which exceeded beyond the holiday season and into all months of the year. I passionately cried, “I Want Bum!” to my mother, often to the point of screaming or borderline harassment. In retrospect, I hope my mom see’s my early use of this phrase as a much more subtle request than if I were making such demands today as a grown man. Just had to get it out of my system, mom.
But for many, Christmas music means scars. Your parents likely turned on the holiday tunes after Halloween (if you were even allowed to celebrate Halloween) and it was etched into your soul by mid-November. I fear that someone out there was forced to dress up like a chipmunk with their siblings and sing that dreadful song in a high-pitched auto-tuning that somehow became popular….that’s a rant for another day. Or maybe “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” came to an abrupt halt when you walked in on your parents doing more than a little smooch. Let’s face it, this stuff is real. And it messes with you. “All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth”. FALSE. At the age of losing my teeth, there were at least 15 toys, 5-10 tapes, and dozens upon dozens of overly sugared cereals or treats that I would have taken before those two teeth. Plus, the tooth fairy already paid me out in cash for those things, so if I grow another pair, I’m likely throwing some floss around them and connecting my face to a nearby door. Seriously. It’s cash! For a 6-year old, that’s like gold.
All hypothetical and all-too-realistic scenarios aside, Christmas music may trigger a whole series of uncomfortable feelings in your heart. But fear not, for there is another way. I’ve compiled a list of some of my favorite Christmas songs; ranging from classic remakes to songs you’ve never heard in your life. From dance music from Family Force 5 to the harmonies of the Civil Wars. If you aren’t on Spotify, you’ll have to create a login to listen, but you won’t regret it.
*trying to paraphrase Scripture into blog posts isn’t easy, and isn’t meant to be offensive. And yes, the prince of pop is allegedly Justin Bieber. Just roll with it.