I am a big fan of the Fall. It’s actually one of the only things I can really brag about in Ohio. The leaves are absolutely beautiful, gracing every shade of yellow, orange, and red in a matter of a few large trees. You can feel the anticipation as the leaves are teeter tottering between branch and ground. Then finally, they all begin to fall, faster than a homeowner can rake them up. On evening drives through the country to and from work, I usually roll down my window hoping to smell someone burning their leaves, one of the most extraordinary scents known to my nasal passages. Ahh, the nasal passages. All of this beauty also comes with some consequences, including the introductions to allergies, sinuses, and the sickness that travels during weather changes.

I decided to take some pictures of the Fall in Ohio. I plan to add on to this in the process, but I want to share those with you. http://www.flickr.com/photos/organize/?start_tab=sets

In the midst of all of the beauty, I spend frequent hours wondering about the depths of self. It typically starts out as basic as

“what am I good at?”.

It quickly elevates beyond that into deeper thoughts like,

“Am I good at these things because God wants me to succeed at them, or because I personally decided that it would be best for myself to excel in these areas?”

From here, there are many directions to go in my thoughts. I think about growing up being told that God does everything for a reason. Yet on the other hand, we are all given free will. With that free will in mind, would you say that we have the ability of pursuing our ‘talents’ so that we can further advance ourselves? Perhaps for selfish ambitions or desires? A conversation similar to this led into an interesting example of the stereotypical rock and roll artist. Let’s say he spend years partying, indulging in sexual immorality, and drinking and smoking everything that was placed in his hand. After a near-death experience, he turns his life around. He stumbled into a church, he accepts Christ into his life and things start to change. The local church hears that a former rock star is in the congregation, and encourages him to “use his talents for the Lord”. In a matter of months, he is signed by a Christian music label as a once-demonic, now-risen rocker that travels around the USA telling his story. Thousands of young people gather in local amphitheaters and music halls to hear the story of the risen angel. Conservative Christian parents rush to the ticket office to grab tickets for their button-up shirt-wearing kids and their closest unsaved friends, hoping that he will say the perfect thing to get them to raise their hand at the end of the show. The front row of fans is crowded with mock t-shirts embellished to represent Christian principles rather than consumer products and services.

Now this all seems to make a lot of sense, and it may actually identify with a few artists out there… But I ask this question. What if God didn’t desire this man to become a rock star? What if he was meant to be something else? What if his biggest struggle wasn’t the drugs and sex, but the attention and media that he received? So he crashes and burns, ends up in the church, but then the church puts him back into the spotlight because “God gave him the ability to play that guitar”. It wasn’t until recently that I actually started thinking about the possibility that all of that talent came out of selfish desires. The need to be needed, the cry’s to be on the stage with thousands of people screaming your name, it all comes from our own desires. But then when we find God and begin to serve him, our closest peers encourage us to get back on that stage, but this time in the name of the Lord.

A very wise person once reminded me that when I am struggling with these selfish desires, I must break myself down to the bare. The naked. The ugly. The uncomfortable. It is not until this point that I can unselfishly pursue God’s direction for me. Before the talents and self-proclaiming gifts, God may have had another plan for me.

May you be challenged spiritually by the grace that God has given you. May your heart be filled with the glory of God. May you know that He has prepared a path for you, and through Him we may find the meaning and purpose which we all desire.