6.24.2008- as written in journal

Tonight when I was getting ready for bed, I pulled out my Polaroid camera and played with what sat in front of me; my notebook, a book I am beginning to read, and my Bible. I wanted to take a picture of the stack of books but try to show the background as my focal point, letting the distance be clear and what is in front of me blurry (it’s quote different and opposite of a typical photo as well as our philosophy of life). As I watched my photo develop, I got excited to see that the green wall in the background was focused and the books were not focusing, as I had hoped. However I noticed that the white book didn’t seem right. There was a small black speck that did not belong in the picture. I tried to remove it from the surface of the photo, but did not want to damage my perfect Polaroid picture.

I started thinking about the photo and how relevant it was to our lives. I had the picture come out just as I had hoped; my ideal image. Then I suddenly found a problem, a glitch. I realized that the small black speck is the joy of classic photography, as well as a faith that encompasses God and an active faith striving for perfection. The speck comes into the picture unexpectedly. I am upset and not satisfied with the “big picture”. But what I do not realize is the art and wonder of this picture No matter what I was taking a picture of, that black speck could have been a part of it. To one, its an interruption of what could have been the perfect picture, but to others, it makes it beautiful and perfect. No matter our thoughts, this speck becomes a part of the photo. It is ingrained within the picture and can not be destroyed. We accept it and learn to embrace the speck that was put there for more reasons than we understand.

In our lives, we all have our own black specks. There are times when it doesn’t work out as planned. We beat ourselves up about the “failure” that comes from the speck. But I am learning that our God has made our black specks for a purpose. It forms the big picture that defines us. It completes the ideal image that God created for us and through us. It is like God sees through the view hole of my Polaroid camera and views perfection. When I put my eye to the camera, I see this wonderful view, but it means nothing when the picture comes out and I realize I didn’t see things right after all.

Tonight, I have learned to embrace the specks in my life. Perfection is imperfection. I thank my God for the specks in my pictures throughout this journey.

11:59PM