This weekend I was fortunate to cross off another “25 Before 25” item on my list:
Wedding crashing is unanimously a negative activity, sometimes to the extent of ruining someone’s special day. The Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson characters make it feel like a dirty activity, something I wouldn’t want any part in. That’s what made this to-do item especially nerve-wracking for me. I understand the value of a women’s special day, and never want to compromise that for the sake of an adventure list. To maintain a people-oriented mindset on this task, I grabbed a card for our lucky couple and provided a brief explanation of why I was there, along with a nice token of appreciation and cash blessing. Hopefully, this would provide a unique moment when the newlyweds sat and opened their gifts and cards to find an anonymous card with a prayer over their future. Looking forward, I’d find it pretty amazing to hear that someone had crashed my wedding, left a nice gift, and added to the joy and fun that comes with a wedding.
Now for the story: I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to find a wedding; I just knew that with weather like this and loads of hotels and venues within striking distance, I was bound to stumble across something. Thanks to the world of social media, I was able to spot someone who mentioned a wedding at a nearby hotel, but we were unclear of what day it would take place. I got the suit on and headed to the hotel to search out a wedding party. Within 5 minutes of walking around the hotel, I spotted an event directory that showed a wedding in an hour. My heart raced. Was it really going to be this easy? I walked down to the reserved rooms and saw a beautiful setting for a small wedding; less than 80 seats were available. Surely it wasn’t going to be as easy to go unnoticed as we had hoped. With a bit of time to spare, we headed to a patio bar at the hotel and sat down anxiously waiting. A brief Google search of the last names got us a wedding registration (they have excellent taste in home decor), a look at their engagement photos, and a bit of background on their story. A man came up next to me and made small-talk; moments later we found out he was family of the wedding. I couldn’t believe this was actually happening.
When it was nearing 6PM, we headed back downstairs to the ceremony room and were escorted to seats by a groomsman. The procession marched on and we were able to experience this amazing wedding of the two that we were yet to meet. But we couldn’t stop there- I really wanted to get a chance to meet the bride and groom. The attendants were escorted to the top floor of the hotel for a cocktail hour with or’devours. I mingled around, met a few people along the way in friendly conversation, but was never asked how I knew the couple. I couldn’t believe how many people avoided that question, even as I asked them who they knew, but I was grateful I wouldn’t have to lie about anything. I got to know a handful of the brides friends and shook a few hands as well. While at the cocktail hour, we noticed people picking up their table cards for placement at the dinner- as expected, our names weren’t there. I also realized that in the process of the afternoon, I had dropped the wedding card that I bought for them. We raced around the hotel searching, but a friendly concierge provided me with a new card and envelope (extremely good customer service). I wrote out the new card, placed the gifted money in the card, and we headed to the dinner reception. While we didn’t have seats, we grabbed a place card for someone who seemed to not be in attendance, hoping that their seats and meals wouldn’t be missed. We sat at a table with the woman who we had first seen on Twitter about the wedding- it’s weird meeting someone you’ve already heard about through social media; it’s like a more innocent version of Catfish. As I made fun conversation with her and her friend, they revealed that they were both dating groomsmen. As the wedding party was announced and the first dance escalated into a pop-music flash mob, I realized that the table we were sitting at was for the majority of the wedding party. As everyone was seated, we made our way to the doors to get a vibe for who was sitting where. A caterer stopped us to make sure we had seats, which we affirmed was over at our table. We sat in a nearby lobby for 15 minutes while the best man and maid speeches took place. And that’s where things got tough:
Nishant wanted to hop back into the wedding to try to get a seat for dinner. My mind was set that we would avoid the dinner and hop in when the music started back up, so I could get a dance with the bride before leaving the night a success. A quick-response led me behind Nishant as we walked in. As we stood at the bar, I noticed a security guard staring right at Nishant and begin to walk near us. I grabbed Nishant and headed to the gift table to write a special note in their guestbook. As I wrote I heard the guard ask Nishant is he was with the wedding party. I nervously wrote an anonymous note about the beauty of their wedding and wished them the best. Whatever I wrote after that is forgotten amidst the crazy adrenaline rush that took place as I felt the guard behind me talking to other security members. As I finished writing, I dropped the card and gift into the basket and looked over at the bride, who was next to another ear-piece toting guard. They were looking right at us; we were certainly spotted. I gave a slight smile to the bride and walked out the doors to the voice of the security guard stating, “Yea, I’m right here with them”. We jetted out and split ways; Nishant to the bathroom and myself up the stairs. I was afraid to look back to find out if I were being followed, so I briskly walked up the stairs, found the nearest exit, and took off for the car. Nishant went to the bathroom but had a dead phone and no form of communication.
Nearly 20 minutes later, I saw Nishant walking from around the side of the hotel. He got into the car filled with adrenaline and excitement. Come to find out, the guards had been waiting for him outside of the restroom. He was walked upstairs to “get a smoke” but was followed by the guard, which eventually came to the conversation which revealed that we were not invited to the party. While the guard was reluctant to let it go as a harmless fun, he let Nishant go without any filed complaints or information taken down.
In hindsight, there were a few things I wish would have happened differently. I think that the story would have been well-received if the bride and groom had seen us having fun with their friends and family, offering up no harm and no additional costs to their families. Furthermore, I would have loved the chance to hand them the card in person and show them my joy for their future together. The guard noted that they were looking for a guy wearing jeans (Nishant was the only person at the wedding in jeans; a definite no-no). Now, all I can do is sit back and hope that when they return from their honeymoon, they will find my card and gift as a unique story to add to their amazing wedding.
If this blog post is ever found by the couple, a family member, or friend I must sincerely note that my gratitude is overwhelmingly strong. My prayers have gone out for this newlywed couple, and I truly hope that this experience was a unique story to add to their own. While attending a wedding was way more fun than going out on a weekend, I can imagine that it shouldn’t be a regular hobby. I will, however, note that if anyone ever wants a guest to fill-in the empty gaps at their special day, I will gladly attend, sporting my finest suit and offering up my conversations and dancing with anyone who is interested.
Celebrate together. Embrace those you care about, and open your heart to those who you haven’t yet met. Live prosperously, generously, and to the fullest. Live out your dreams. Daily.